1) Select the perfect pumpkin. You just got to feel that special Halloween gris-gris with your gourd. I especially liked the scar trauma suffered by this little booger. 2) Rip skull open and begin scooping guts with clawed fingers and an ice-cream scoop.
3) Train future generations in the art of sawing into a face.
4) Be Proud. This pumpkin converted hours and hours of sunlight into sugar and other products to grow itself, so you could hack it up, stick a candle in it and tell babies not to touch it for 3 hours. Then it will become squirrel food and compost! (Scarface is top right, Starface is below and Triangleface [aka Scarface 2] is lower right).
5) Thank loving wife for taking silly blog photos.